Actions with 
high Upsides
❑   Actively decide whether you want to be happy
  • Those who are on the fence about it tend to get straddle injuries.


❑   Decide whether you are willing to do the work that it takes to get there


❑   Choose life  (let go and move on!)
  • Too many people are cultivating their death wish:  smoking cigarettes, having unprotected sex, polluting their bodies with harmful substances, overeating ....  If you really want to be happy you have to get off that fence.


❑   Once you choose life, 
      all actions from that point forward should support life

      Take care of your body
  • Humans have basic requirements that have to be met.  Meet them.

      Feed your spirit
  • Do what makes your soul sing. It will be music to your Creator's ears.
  • A flower will never say, "I'll pass on the water," or "I don't deserve that sunshine."  It will bend and twist and do whatever it takes to get as much of that precious sunshine and water as it possibly can.

      Realize you are the only one who knows what your needs are

      Realize it is your responsibility to make sure your needs get met

      Realize you don’t need permission to take care of yourself 
      or to get your needs met


❑   Wrestle your mind away from negative thoughts
  • It can be a real effort to think positively while under stress, 
        but negative thinking only feeds fear, while positive thinking provides hope,
        builds courage and confidence, and soothes the mind.


❑   Realize you are intelligent


❑   Acknowledge the power your mind has over your body
  • ​In scientific trials involving medication, the reason for the need for placebos is, in many instances, if a person believes he is being given something that will help his condition, his body will heal itself by the shear power of his own belief. The placebos help separate medicinal healing from mind-over-body healing.
  • Be aware of what you say to your self.  Your body listens.  You tell it to walk, run, jump, wash the dishes, mow the lawn, self-destruct -- it obeys.


❑   Know who you are


❑   Be who you are


❑   Practice speaking well of yourself


❑   Find wonderful people to share your life with
  • The first experiment in solitary confinement in US prisons was based on a Quaker belief that prisoners would repent when isolated with a Bible.  Instead, prisoners came out of isolation insane, leading to a need to 
         re-think the system.  It is detrimental to your mental health to spend too 
         much time alone.
  • Get as much physical contact with other living beings as is possible:  
         hugs, handshakes, massages, affection from your pets—whatever you can.                Life is within other living beings; energizing life energy radiates from them. 


❑   Build a happy life, one meaningful and rewarding ritual at a time
  • The flowers of tomorrow are the seeds we plant today.


❑   Steer away from toxic people, situations and influences
  • Friends, jobs, family members, news stations that highlight and 
        sensationalize the negative  --  anything that brings you down or depletes 
        your power should be limited or avoided


❑   Don't feed your monsters
  • Destructive addictions, harmful tendencies -- 
         starve them until they wither and die


❑   Resolve personal issues
  • Don’t wait until you are in trouble before making an effort to repair problems. Make a habit of resolving conflicts early in so you can participate in the direction of their resolution.
  • If you are having trouble resolving a particular issue, talk to people:    friends, pastor, therapist, mailman, whomever.  Constant pursuit of answers will result in answers.  Just don’t forget to be the decider of which answers are right for you.


❑   Come to terms with your parents/guardians/caretakers/upbringing
  • Find positive ways to perceive bad memories.  It is not so much what happens to you in life, it is how you process it. “How you process it” means what you say to yourself about what happened.
  • Coming to terms with something means to put it into perspective so you can see it for what it is. 
  • Putting it into perspective means to look at all the truths for all parties involved for every situation. Whatever your experience, when you look at the whole picture—really try to see all the circumstances and viewpoints that contributed to an experience—you will be fairer when making your judgments. And the things you then say to yourself will be more real, less harsh, and more comforting.
  • If you feel your guardians failed you in respect to nurturing your spirit, don’t carry on where they left off.  Become the parent you needed and encourage and parent your child within.


❑   Grieve your losses
  • When things change, something is always lost. Summer is lost to winter; babies are lost to adulthood; each day is lost to the night, and so on. It's the way of life.
  • Whenever you suffer a loss, you need to grieve.  Whether it's just a sigh's worth of grief, or a bucketload of screaming-crying-rolling-around-on-the-ground amount of grief, what matters most is that you acknowledge that you're sad or angry, and then release those feelings by feeling them as deeply and for however long you need to feel them.
  • People tend to minimize their need to grieve, and sometimes cut off the grief process because they feel it's going on too long. There is no appropriate length of time to grieve.  Grief is a reaction to a loss.  It's a feeling.  Like sadness in an hourglass, you have to grieve until all the sadness has come through. It may take an hour, a day, a year, or more.  The length of your grief teaches you how much the thing you lost meant to you.
  • Grieving helps rid the mind of mental carcasses. It frees you up to relax and experience peace.


❑   Understand forgiveness
  • Forgiveness is not merely an act of deciding to put things behind you, of pardoning the offense, or excusing the offender.  
  • Forgiveness can only truly happen:
        1)  after you've found ways to keep your boundaries from being
             breached again to protect yourself from further harm, AND 
        2)  after you have grieved your losses.


❑   Deal with stress 
  • Be proactive by:   
         --   recognizing and fixing problems in the early stages 
              before they bloom to their full potential;   
         --  not running your engine at full speed all the time 
             so you have something in reserve when you need it;   
         --  feeling your emotions as they come;
         --  having boundaries and protecting them 
             (the best ways to protect boundaries are through 
              the use of the words "no" and "stop").
  • Develop stress management skills like:   
         --  prioritizing;   
         --  breaking big problems down into little problems;   
         --  not taking on anything more when going through stressful periods;
         --  turning up the self-nurturing and TLC;   
         --  communicating your feelings so they don't overwhelm you;
         --  learning to recognize your signs that you're under stress 
             so you can go into stress-management mode.
  • Develop resources for times of stress like:
         --  Friends for support;
         --  Hobbies for distraction;
         --  Pets to ground and comfort you;
         --  Health insurance;
         --  Rainy-day funds.


❑   Cure causes, not symptoms


❑   Author your own experience
  • It can be difficult making the transition from child to adult—
         from relying on the wisdom of your parents, teachers, etc., to relying 
         on your own. But, in order to make your life one of your own design
         —to fill it with those things that comfort you and make you happy—
         it is necessary to take this step.​
  • Your opinion is the only one that really counts when it 
         comes to taking care of yourself, and making yourself happy.


​❑   Participate in your own experience
  • ​There are quacks out there. In every realm, and every field. Don’t believe everything you hear just because someone tells you it’s fact. Especially when it comes to matters of great concern like your health and welfare. 
  • Learn to be your own gauge of whether people are experts in their field. Research the topics yourself; get second and third opinions; speak with others who have had similar experiences; listen to your instincts
  • This skill helps keep the responsibility of your life on you, and it also helps cut down on risks as far as not biting hook, line and sinker every line thrown to you.


❑   Strive to be independent
  • ​Exercise every muscle you have. Become a powerhouse. The more you can depend on yourself, the stronger and happier you will become.


❑   Find your voice and express yourself
  • It helps you heal by giving air to your wounds;
  • It helps correct faulty thinking by gaining the input of others;
  • It helps keep your relationships honest;
  • It helps you be a part of things;
  • It helps you feel your own power;
  • It helps you get what you want;
  • It helps people get to know you.


❑   Understand your emotions
  • ​It's very simple. 
        All emotions are in response to getting or not getting what we want.  
        We get what we want, we're happy.  We don't get what we want, we're not.


❑   Dedicate yourself to the truth


❑   Connect to the higher powers


❑   Develop a personal philosophy that works for you


❑   Have an ultra-comfortable bed (since 1/3 of your life is spent there)

Happiness
comes from getting what
you want.

Do you
know what
you want?
There are literally millions of actions we can take to shape our lives.  Below is a list of choices that have some really great upsides:
Many people treat their bodies as if they were rented from Hertz
– something they are using to get around in, but nothing they genuinely care about.
— CHUNGLIANG AL HUANG
Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude 
— THOMAS JEFFERSON

The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty 
— WINSTON CHURCHILL

I have always believed, and I still believe, that whatever good or bad fortune may come our way we can always 
give it meaning and 
transform it into something of value 
— HERMANN HESSE

Every waking moment we talk to ourselves about the things we experience. Our self-talk, the thoughts we communicate to ourselves, in turn control the way we feel and act 
— JOHN LEMBO
There is an indomitable quality within the 
human spirit
that cannot be destroyed;
a face deep within the human personality
that is impregnable 
to all assaults,
— CHESTER HIMES

The key to survival
is adapting;
the key to adapting
is acceptance;
the key to acceptance is grieving

* * *

The first step
of grieving
is identifying
your losses

* * *

Grieve
and
accept

* * *

Accept
and
adapt

* * *

Adapt
and
survive

Your real boss
is the one
who walks around
under your hat.
— NAPOLEON HILL
Question
authority. 
Its trueness 
will hold up to 
your inquiries, 
or else be 
exposed — ANONYMOUS
Make yourself known, otherwise you will be but a shadow of yourself, or worse yet, of someone else.

* * *

And the day came when the risk 
to remain tight 
in a bud was more painful than 
the risk it took 
to blossom 
— NICCOLO MACHIAVELLI

* * *

How does the Meadow flower its bloom unfold? Because the lovely little flower is free down to its root, and in that freedom bold 
— WILLIAM WORDSWORTH​
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Happiness
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